fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
