Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize