Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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