This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
