love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
