I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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