He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So vagazzling was a success
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
