ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize