Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
