I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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