The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
