Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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