Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
