I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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