I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
