I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
