her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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