Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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