I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
