I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
