So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
