is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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