In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize