But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
