this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
