He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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