he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
