Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How's work?
Spinning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize