i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
