I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
