They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
