drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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