Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
