so explain again why im purple
no
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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