I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
