you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
