I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
