Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
