So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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