the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
