Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize