Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize