Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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