OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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