HIV tests are more positive than that guy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
