i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
