This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
