just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
