The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is my gift to your gina
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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