Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
