Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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