problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
