It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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