i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
tell me about the fingering
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
