I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize