Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
