Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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