i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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