No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
