Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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