dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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