So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
