do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
40s are totally the cure
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
