If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My nipple is on Facebook.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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