can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
