peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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