So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
