If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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