sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
