She said her name was "party"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize