I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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