im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
